Garlic & Soy Tofu

Garlic & Soy Tofu

When you can't wait for your tofu...make this.

Get in my partially Asian belly

Post-Christmas, I've been craving light food. 

This Tofu is so light I could fly.

Ingredients

The following can all be sourced from your local Chinese Supermarket..

Deep Fried Tofu

Pak Choi

Spring Onions

Garlic

Ginger

Light Soy Sauce

Taiwan Shaohsing Wine (optional)

Sugar

Sesame Oil

So crispy, so crunchy, so full of CHOI.

1. Chop up however much tofu you want to put in your stomach hole

Pre deep fried tofu. SO FLUFFY!

2. Finely slice spring onion, ginger, garlic & Pak Choi- again dependent on how much you want to eat.

Chop chop chop

3. Throw in hot frying pan with a good glug of sesame oil

4. Add half a cap of wine & a little soy sauce. FRY.

Sizzle

5. Sprinkle with a pinch of sugar

6. Turn of heat

7. Serve alone/with rice/with noodles

USE YO CHOPSTICKS

GUZZLE YOUR TOFU WITHOUT FEAR.

Grand Marnier Sauce (for your Christmas Pudding)

Grand Marnier Sauce

(For your Christmas Pud)

'Creamy' Grand Marnier Sauce for this FANCY Xmas Pud

It's never too late in the season for a CHRISTMAS PUD

My non-vegan Mummy was scoffing this accidentally Vegan Christmas Pud with some COW-CREAM BRANDY SAUCE. 

I decided to up her on the sauce & create my own version.

She preferred mine. Obviously.

Accidentally Vegan & delicious CHRISTMAS PUDDING from Waitrose!

Ingredients

1 carton of Alpro Single Soya milk

Cornflour

Sugar

Grand Marnier 

1 VEGAN CHRISTMAS PUDDING

Alpro Soya Cream is the CREAMIEST

1. Pour soya cream into saucepan and heat

2. Add a glug of Grand Marnier

Add however much alcohol you feel your liver can handle

3. Add sugar to taste

4. Mix a heaped spoon of cornflour with a tiny bit of warm water. Mix it till smooth. Add the cornflour mixture to the bubbling cream and stir rapidly until thickened

5. HEAT UP YOUR CHRISTMAS PUD 

Look how Christmassy it is.

NOW EAT YOUR SAUCE-PUDDING COMBO UNTIL YOUR VEGAN BODY EXPLODES WITH CHRISTMASSY EXCITEMENT.

Tofu Scramble

Tofu Scramble with Cheatin' Bacon

Because who needs scrambled eggs when you've got TOFU. 

Tastes significantly better then it looks.

Cheatin' Bacon created by Vbites is the perfect accompaniment to this scrambly breakfast. 

VBites. NOT MEAT.

GET IN MY MORNING BELLY HOLE.

Ingredients

1 Extra-firm block of tofu

Olive Oil

3 or 4 slices of Vbites Cheatin' Bacon (or any Vegan mock bacon)

1/2 Green Pepper

1/2 white onion

1 clove of garlic

1 teasp of Turmeric

1/2 cup of Light Soy Sauce

1 cup of Nutritional Yeast

Black Pepper

Sugar

1. Press water out of tofu. Crumble tofu into bowl. Pour soy sauce over tofu & leave to soak.

2. Chop onion, garlic & green pepper. Fry with olive oil and caramelise with sugar.

Caramelise with OIL & SUGAR

3. Add chopped 'bacon' to frying pan. FRY.

4. Add tofu to the pan. Sprinkle turmeric into pan. PROCEED WITH FURTHER FRYING.

All ready to go in your MOUTH

5. Turn off heat. Stir Nutritional Yeast into tofu. Add Black Pepper to taste.

EAT WITH TOAST & OJ IF SO DESIRED

Scrambled Tofu. ON BREAD. (One bite removed prior to photo being taken...)

DON'T WRITE OFF YOUR MORNING AS A SHAMBLE.

JUST COOK UP SOME OF THIS TOFU-BACON SCRAMBLE.

YES YOU SHOULD.

A Very Vegan Christmas

A Very Vegan Christmas

My first Vegan Christmas. 

My non-Vegan family allowed me to cook up lunch for them. 

AND THEY FUCKING LOVED IT.

Yum Yum in your Vegan tum.

Here is how this Christmas was done...

The following was created & consumed:

'Ah Bisto' Onion Gravy (with added Port)

1 Tempeh 'meat'-loaf

Recipe: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/17/hearty-holiday-main-courses-for-vegans/

1 lentil & nut roast topped with cranberry sauce instead of ketchup

Recipe: http://fuckthebacon.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/lentil-loaf.html

The Roasts. SO. FILLING. (And nuttily delicious)

Vegan Stuffing balls (added Chestnuts to it for extra joy)

Recipe: http://fuckthebacon.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/christmas-stuffing-balls-sage-onion.html

Apples from the garden...used for stuffing & apple sauce (Boil apples. Drain them. Mush with fork. Add sugar.=Apple Sauce) NOM IN MY FACEHOLE.

Bread Sauce

Recipe: http://www.veganvillage.co.uk/recipes/breadsauce.htm

Alongside...

Carrots infused with OJ

1. Peel & chop carrots

2. Boil with Orange Juice, a sprinkle of salt & 2 Bay Leaves for 10 minutes

3. Smother in Olive Oil, salt & pepper and roast for 40-50 minutes 180°C

Sweet Carroty goodness

Roast Potatoes (patronising recipe...)

1. Peel & half-boil potatoes

2. Whilst still in saucepan, add sunflower oil, salt, pepper & soya butter. SHAKE WITH LID ON TILL FLUFFY.

3. Roast in oiled tray with fresh rosemary for 1 hour 180°C

DO THE SAME FOR PARSNIPS (drizzle these with Agave Syrup pre-roasting)

My family loved it, yes they did.

Brussel Sprouts with Fakin' Bacon

All fresh & green & good for your body hole.

1. Boil for 5 minutes. Drain.

2. Fry in pan with olive oil, cut-up vegan Bacon, handful of chopped chestnuts, salt & pepper 5-10 minutes

Fry-fry-frying away

Bread Sauce above the BEST SPROUTS EVAR

Cranberry Sauce

1. Grate zest of 1 large orange. Then juice it. 

2.  Add this to 1 box of fresh cranberries in saucepan. 

3. Add some cracked black pepper & 1 cup of sugar. Simmer for 20 mins. 

4. Add more sugar to taste. Add Gran Marnier to taste

Dip yo Brussels in dat

NOW DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO COOK A VEGAN CHRISTMAS SPREAD.

They ate it all up.

SUCK IT UP & SAVE THE TURKEYS.

Christmas Eggnog

Eggnog

Which contains no eggs whatsoever.

How fucking Christmassy.

I live in the UK. 

British people don't really do Eggnog. And neither do I really. 

Which is why I've made this Christmas beverage that isn't really Eggnog at all. 

Enjoy. 

Ingredients

1 banana

1 cup of soya milk/almond milk/rice milk 

1 cup of coconut milk

Agave Syrup (to taste)

Nutmeg (to taste)

Cinnamon (to taste)

Bananas. Yeahhh

1. Add all ingredients into a blender.

Add dat milk.

2. BLEND

3. Put in glass. Sprinkle with cinnamon & nutmeg to look fancy.

CONSUME YOUR EGG-LESS EGGNOG.

Savoury Sweet Potato Nut cakes

Sweet Potato Nut cakes

When I say cake, what I really mean is flat disk of food. 

Surrounded by meaningless salad.

After a week of trying to convince the French that Vegan is a real concept, I am very glad to be back my UK home kitchen. 

#NomFuckingNom

Ingredients

Makes 5 potato cakes

1 large Sweet Potato

1 medium potato

1 tin of mixed beans

2 big handfuls of cooked kale

Paprika

Nutmeg

Agave or Maple syrup

Salt

Pepper

Nutritional Yeast

Unsalted nuts (I used almonds & cashews)

Sesame Oil

1. Peel, chop, boil & drain potatoes

Cause nobody wants no wet potatoes.

2. Drain tin of beans, add to potatoes. MASH.

Mash that shit.

3. Add a heaped tblespoon of paprika, a good sprinkling of nutmeg and a cup of nutritional yeast.

4. Add salt, pepper & agave syrup to taste (don't be afraid to dip your fingers in that delicious mush)

5. Chop cooked kale finely. MIX IN. 

6. Crush 1/2 a cup of nuts in pestle & mortar. Mix with a good glug of sesame oil, salt, pepper & a squeeze of agave/maple syrup.

7. Shape sweet potato mash mix into cakes and lay on an oiled baking tray

8. Sprinkle nut mixture on top of cakes

9. Bake in oven 180(°C) for 20 mins

Serve with salad and/or rice. Dip in sauce of your choice.

BECAUSE NOT EATING CARBS IS FOR BITCHES.

Easy Vegan Bolognese Sauce

Bolognese Sauce

Mincey vegan deliciousness.

Look at that TOMATOEY GOODNESS

Good for Spaghetti Bolognese, Shepard's pies, lasagne...I could go on.

Mix Spaghetti with coriander, salt & chilli oil...

Plonk this sauce on top. TA-DAH!

Ingredients

serves a few happy vegans

2 cups of dried soya mince protein (or any vegan mince)

1 onion

2 tins chopped tomatoes 

mushrooms

3 bay leaves

Herbs (dried italian herbs/thyme/sage/rosemary...whatever you've got in!)

Olive Oil

Sugar

Salt

Pepper

Balsamic vinegar
Garlic

1. Chop onion, fry & caramelise using a sprinkling of sugar

2. In a pan add dried soya protein & enough boiling water for the mince to absorb & expand (according to instructions on packet)

Dried soya protein. Appetising. 

3. Chop mushrooms. Add tinned tomatoes, mushrooms, garlic, a glug of Olive Oil, Bay Leaves & herbs. Simmer for 15-20 minutes. Top up with water if drying out!

4. Add caramelised onions in the last 5 mins of simmering

5. Turn off heat. Add salt, pepper, sugar & balsamic vinegar to taste. Remove bay leaves.

6. Made too much? Freeze it. 

YOU CAN EVEN EAT THIS SHIT ON IT'S OWN.

Christmas Stuffing

Sage, Onion & Apple Christmas stuffing

Looks like meat. Except that it's not.

How fucking Christmassy.

I'm a student. We break up for the holidays at the end of the week, so decided to have a cute home-cooked Christmas dinner! 

How fucking cute.

Took the moment to practice for the REAL CHRISTMAS dinner I'll be cooking come December 25th...

Ingredients

Makes 4 balls of stuffing

3 Linda McCartney Sausages (or any similar sausage type) http://www.lindamccartneyfoods.co.uk/ourfood/sausages/

1 cup of breadcrumbs

a few leaves of fresh Sage

Orange juice

1/2 Onion

1 small apple

Olive Oil

Sugar

1. Microwave sausages till soft. Mush them up between your fingers until crumbled.Mix with breadcrumbs in a bowl.

2. Chop sage finely & add to mixture

3. Caramelise apple & onion in a frying pan (by frying in oil, sprinkling with sugar & frying a bit more). ADD TO MIXTURE.

4. Add a glug of orange juice & a slop of olive oil

5. Mould into ball shapes

6. Cook in oven for 15-20 mins at 180°C

Eat alongside nut roast... (See 'Lentil Loaf' entry- use higher nut ratio & top with cranberry sauce not ketchup)

NOW STUFF THAT STUFFING INTO YOUR MOUTH-HOLE.

Savoury kale & mushroom crumble

'Cheesy' Kale & Mushroom Crumble

Apple crumble? That was so last year...

It's glowing with crumbly magic.

I came up with a savoury crumble recipe after scouring the internet and finding fuck all vegan crumble related recipes.

Having none of that apple shit

Ingredients

Soya butter/Vegan margarine

Wholemeal flour

Nutritional Yeast

Nutmeg

Black Pepper

Salt

1 pot of Mushrooms

1/3 bag of Kale

1 white onion 

1 garlic clove

Unsweetened soya milk (I used Alpro Light)

Cornflour

1. Slice your mushrooms up. Chop kale finely. 

2. Boil kale for 15 mins & separately fry mushrooms with soya butter, salt & chopped garlic until cooked. 

3. Fry onions on low heat separately, add a sprinkle of sugar to caramelise. 

4. Put all cooked veg into an oven-proof dish

5. Make crumble topping: mix a scoop of soya butter with 2 scoops of flour. Add a sprinkle of nutmeg, nutritional yeast, salt & pepper. Use fingers to rub into a crumble. Add more flour if necessary. 

6. Make 'cheesy' sauce: Pour 1 1/2 cups of soya milk into a small saucepan. Add 3/4 cups of nutritional yeast (add even more if you want it more 'cheesy'). Bring to the boil, add cornflour to thicken. Add salt & pepper to taste.

7. Pour 'cheesy' sauce into vegetable filled dish. Sprinkle however much crumble you want on top (thicker is BETTER)

8. Bake in oven at 180°C for 30-40 minutes 

DON'T LET YOUR TUMMY GRUMBLE.

JUST EAT THAT FUCKING CRUMBLE.

Breakfast Apple & Oaty cookies

Breakfast Apple & Oaty Cookies

Not my idea again, but they made a beautiful breakfast...

Cookie & smoothie combo= genius

I tend to go through 'Breakfast phases'. I can go for a month and eat the same thing in the morning everyday quite happily...but eventually I'll get bored and attempt a different breakfast angle. 

Today was one of those days.

Last night I made Coconut & Berries Breakfast Cookies recipe (using peanut butter because I didn't have any almond butter). Today I ate them with a banana berry smoothie.

MIND, BLOWN.

RECIPE: http://coconutandberries.com/2013/12/04/apple-raisin-oaty-breakfast-cookies/

Check it out because they really are a very special breakfast mouthful.

Smoothie recipe: 1 banana, 1 cup of soy milk, a dollop of agave syrup & a handful of berries. BLEND.

NOW CHEW THOSE OATY DISCS OF DELICIOUSNESS!